酸溜溜

just heard from an ex-colleague about two other ex-colleagues who're now Front Office Managers. i have to confess that my most immediate reaction wasn't joy. for goodness sakes, i'd left the hotel industry since the year after Y2K. it's been bloody ten years already, what's there to harp about? i dunno. i have a problem with myself. until now, even after having chosen to re-enter His light, there's just still something really really wrong with me. the worst thing is to be so lucid about it, to want it changed, yet being unable to break out of it but sinking deeper into it. i've been in this season for the longest time. i sometimes really wished i could simply bypass this time on earth and meet my Lord already. i'm no good to anyone and least of all myself while i waste the space and time here.

i'm sorry about the darkness around this post. i'll be fine.