petrified

formica

do you know how much i wanna redo the wardrobe laminates and the wall colours? i can only blame myself. have i ever told you what happened? sigh. it's water under the bridge. until i saw this wall treatment and then i was hopeful. but i forgot that it's just wishful thinking. as if i could just say i want it and it's done for me. maybe i should've just engaged that architect guy to do what i cannot do. i imagine i'd still be unsatisfied even if i have all the money in the world to redo the house. something must be wrong with me.

so i'll just target the more doable daydreams then.

dare

happy new year! 

chandy

i've been up to... some stuff... was  just not too inspired to log them in this space.

 i did get a new look following this post. and again i was wishy washy about whether i liked it. was tempted to cut the hair even shorter. the curls have tamed a little, so i'm in two minds still. and of course i got all kinds of comments from the colleagues about the hair. what's new. i think i'm more sickened by myself than anything else. it's like i'm the betrayer of myself. i want it yet i don't want it. 

tres chic

it's the same on every other front, it seems. i'm just so sick of being like this. i want to venture out, yet when i did, i wasn't sure i wanted that something new.

the above two wall coverings are on my radar now, amongst many other stuff. it's rather unlike me. yet i want them quite badly. but i don't trust myself. i can't afford to waste more money and time, really. yet i refuse to settle. the problem is, my choices are few. 

i want everything.

i want nothing.     

vertizontal

all taken from cb2

the only thing that i haven't changed my mind so far is the flooring. i was persuaded that laminate flooring is not advisable, that tiles are still better. i've been quite settled on grey, light or medium. looking at these pictures, i'm even more convinced that grey tiles should be used. i haven't been too crazy over wood on walls but i find these rather nice. i really just prefer to go for the unique, not ubiquitous.  

patterns

bohemian apartment

i think i'm going to go for dark outside the shower area, and light inside, like how this bathroom looks here. i hope i don't flip again. i believe just yesterday i told myself to forget about dark bathrooms. sighs. 

i've also been flipping between plain and patterns (related posts to tell you what i mean). 

source

this space is so unique, eh? i love surprising elements shot in unexpected places. it's been a long time we had wallpaper in our abodes. the last time, my parents had the whole house wallpapered and the stairs carpeted. but the wallpapers used were in safe colours like ivory and cream. it's the textures that were different, so the walls had the embossed effect.

i'll save more musings about wallpaper for another post. 

the writing on the wall

via motilo's email

this wall would be perfect for the room where the clothes and shoes and bags would be housed, eh?

some updates about the house. knowing me, i was really doing nothing but looking at magazines and websites for inspiration. as always, when confronted with too many options (just an excuse), how does one decide? i can only tell you what i don't want. it's a start, but i was getting nowhere. i have a couple of contacts i could call to get things going, but i did nothing. my mother's friend's been offering to help. i'd like to reveal more but my info's limited, so long story short, i actually got as far as having a rough plan drawn up and more details should be ready in two weeks. my initial plan was to move in latest by middle of next year. this is really the worst case scenario. but now, with the help given me in this manner, i just might be able to move in by dec 2012 or jan 2013.  

in other news, i've been feeling this way again. and there'll be some changes at the office again, which means the same opportunity then would be presented again. only this time i have to make a different kind of decision. i've been putting it off but i have to do something about it soon. i can't quit my job, i need the income and especially since i have a new commitment now. i must finish school soon. before i lose more steam. what bugs me majorly is also what i want to do after graduation. i'll get to that later. i have to solve the more pressing issue first. 

i guess you can see why i was giving myself so much time to move to the new place. i hate being like this but i'm just so... fearful... i shouldn't be living life as if i still have a lifetime left to finish accomplishing the things i'd like to do before i'm taken away from this world. 

color me badd

colour remains a perennial dilemma.

been thinking about the flooring colour for the longest time, cos all other considerations would revolve around this choice. 

really trying not to go for the typical wood colours, so i was quite bent on grey. only how soft or how dark should i go? sometimes i'd even want black, or the other extreme: white. and then i'd be stuck there. especially with black. 

then the next colour to consider would be for the walls...

actually i realised i didn't say flooring for which part of the house, eh? the living room. which would extend to the bedrooms if i want the place to look bigger.  and then i could think about the colours for the kitchen, the backsplash, etc.  this is the right approach?

so, soft grey or dark grey? or black??

then what about the walls? what materials? paint? fabric? wallpaper? tiles?

 

i'm loving this apartment very much. so much character! i was referring to these looks when i talked about identity. i really prefer these to those typical and expensive design ideas seen everywhere.

all pictures from wary meyers 

portrayal

as i went through more pictures for inspiration, i became more lost and unsure about what i want. i was flipping left and right too much too often.

it's akin to the evolution of my style over the years. even now, i struggle to identify the adjectives i'd like being associated with. i'm not exactly a minimalist although i'm definitely one in terms of decorating myself with accessories. it'd be easier for me to tell you what doesn't represent me, e.g. glam is not me, girly is not me. 

so's the case for my taste in decorating house. i can't decide if retro is for me or not. one moment, i like it clean (impractical). in the next heartbeat, i want it cluttered (real). i always told people the 'zen' look is not me -- which, i think, has been proven true. by now i'm getting quite tired of the 'modern' look: white walls, wood flooring, the works. sometimes such a look is called 'japanese', other times it's 'scandinavian'. maybe it should be labelled 'global'. i wonder if new media was the reason for the homogeneous look. just like how everyone's dressing alike these days. even i'm becoming one of them myself.  

how, how, how???