#timeflies

You know all the things you were planning to do this year at the beginning of the year? You have half a year left to do them. Ya. It's June.

Kinmun Lee @mrbrown

计

 

Job 42:2

  I know that you can do all things,

and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted.

goshen

how long more, dear lord?

source

the battle for waterloo

when: last july.

where: was having lunch at torte and was thinking to myself how nice if i could live here. the library and the museums are in the vicinity; i could walk to work.

today: i was so tempted to just buy the next unit available, no matter the price. an utter fool, that's me. 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
 In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths. 

  

Proverbs 3:5-6

盼

  

just attended an ex-colleague's wedding dinner. as she was thanking her 姑姑 on stage, i started wondering if the scene would play out the same for my niece. would i live to see her marry, to hear her thank me for being part of her life... dare i even dream at all... why not, you ask? i really don't dare to hope much, even though i know in my heart that i have hope in Christ. and i just can't explain why i feel so. why still so little faith and so much fear?

c

Don’t fall into the pit of comparison. Comparison just makes us stop in our tracks.  

- Benjamin Edwards

浅意识

Dreams appear much more prominent and clear when the dreamer is in an unhealthy state -- they have an extraordinary semblance of reality. Most monstrous pictures are put together but all the circumstances are so subtly interwoven, the details so artistically harmonious in every minute respect, as to defy human imitation, be the artist a Pooshkin or a Tourgeneff. Such morbid dreams are always recollected for very long, and produce strong impressions on the disordered and already excited organs of the dreamer. 

Crime and Punishment

Fyodor Dostoyevsky

collar colour

just realised that the colour of the men's shirts i've been lusting is the colour of blue = wp... ?? lol. 

i will admit that i'm one of those politically apathetic ones in my country. the recent events did give me something to think about. many thoughts in my head but as usual words fail me as soon as i state my case. wait, do i even have a case? i don't think anyone can claim to be neutral about ideologies, right?

truth be told, i was a little apprehensive when wp won the aljunied electoral division. but the weird thing's that if i get to choose, i'd say i belong more to the blue-collar than the white-collar workers (i found out only today that there's pink-collar too), in terms of the salary i'm drawing. heck, i think if i were a true blue manual labour kind of worker, i'd be earning more.

what was i saying? right. so if i belong to the lower-income group of people, shouldn't i be elated that the voice of this group of people could/should become more audible now? well, i felt i was already really blessed that i was not squeezed as tight as the middle-class. but maybe that's cos i'm single and my pay's not so low afterall? i've gone through worst times but that's mostly due to stupidity. so i can't quite get it when people complain about this and that. i did have to bear with something recently but to me i just didn't think to link it to the way the country's governed. the government did intervene eventually, things improved a little. i'm still in that situation today, though.

or. maybe. in the end, everything's indeed gotta do with the way the ruling party does things? we leave our brains at home. we mind our own business, self-interest comes first. but when things don't go our way, we whine and blame it on the government.

i still can't say why i felt that way when wp won. it could simply be about change. i have a love hate thing with this thing. i don't love change but i hate it when things remain unchanged for too long. 

swan song



^image copied from reebonz^





^image copied from raffaello-network^

post has nothing to do with the much-hyped film starring portman and ryder. the other day, me and a coupla of bag fiends (i actually didn't relish being labelled as one; i wasn't even half as obsessed as some on tPF) were wafting in and out of reality and daydream-scape about getting one last bbag. we decided that the style would be a black weekender. then we could look like supermodels (i said this) in our skinny jeans (contributed by the one who's turned a big bag lover thanks to another colleague) and don't forget the vitamin water bottle (this from the colleague who likes big bags)!! lol.

for me, i used to say i'd conclude my bal affair with a black first, which was indeed my first love, or rather  first crush. then i changed my mind along the way and considered the black work. but i already have two works, so the weekender did seem like a good choice. then i asked myself why would i want yet another bbag since i liked variety? anyway, it's just one of those things my small mind entertains once in a while. like, i'd like to own a DSLR cam one day. but then, maybe not, since it's really not so essential that i'd die without one. kwim? besides, i did get myself a SLR vintage cam (or was it two?) and i've long neglected my bbags. i even  toyed with the idea of donating one of the bags to the unifem's give to save...

of course i'm not so noble, lah. don't forget that i'm afflicted with the incurable disease of a hoarder. even if i don't use my bags, i could pass them on to my mother/sil/niece (wow, i can't believe i get to emulate what the celebrities do, lmao!). ok, ok, enough of my bs. the point of this post is that i finally got my dream bag! so this might well be my last luxury bag. yay!   

nightfish

this post was long overdue. anyway, i attracted comments again, with wiw. this time, it's because i was dressed "neatly" (among a few other terms that meant quite the same). more positive than negative? i guess. or maybe not? i obviously was still quite bothered by these things.     

nightfish was the name of one of the mac gel liners i've been revisiting lately (bobbi brown's better, imo). my main reason for going back to these: i haven't sharpened the blunt pencil liners. just as well, since the 'wetter' cosmetics couldn't keep long and since there's less tugging on my eyelids.

i wondered about the meaning of 'nightfish' and google led me to this clip. then i had a weird dream the very next day and on that same day, my fave morning radio station interpreted such a dream for me. too many bingo moments here.

i never found out what nightfish meant. if mac named the gel liner after a colour, then they're quite off.

do you prefer pencil or gel liners? 

november rain

went to watch TONE. i quite enjoyed it. i didn't always enjoy a cappella, tbh. 

watching them reminded me of myself: of dreams unfulfilled. of passions lost.   

the dress was on sale and it's the only one left - in L size. i almost wanted to wear my rebecca taylor's beige gloves. i think they're too large. haha. iirc they're also the last pair available then, when i was in tokyo. i really wish i could do more with my hair. i suspect the problem's me. i tried to copy this but Failed.

哪儿有吃一辈子的宴席？

人有悲欢离合，月有阴晴圆缺，此事古难全。何况是人呢？

天下没有不散的宴席，天下不是事事都那么美好的。
总要有离别，总要有悲伤的事情。

- source

J has finally left the organisation and her 'parting words' for me was one of the lemonade quotes.

being me, i looked inwards again at my inability to be positive. about things. about life. i hadn't taken offence. i guess people can't help but think so about me and such a quote should help me deal with it. what's ironic to me is that i don't think i complain or whine as often as some people do (or so i imagine). so i believe i do make lemonade, or i try to, when i'm handed a lemon.      

i dunno if that was why J gave me the quote (don't overthink on this like me, J, if you're reading this). i can only say i've been very aware of it and i've been struggling with it all for a very long time now. not a few times did i wish i could be with Jesus in eternity already. i'm just so tired of being me.      

all the best in your journey hereafter, J. there'll be more goodbyes on the road ahead. i apologise if i come across cold. perhaps it's my method of dealing with life's many lemons ;) 

half time

closure of a past life>>>

prelude to more stock-taking

why do we repeat history time and again

how will you author the remainder<<<

我的未来不是梦

if i told you i took ballet lessons when i was small, would you believe me? lol. it was for a brief time. cos i totally can't recollect why i was suddenly doing folk dance instead. i'll have to ask my ma when she's back. if i'd continued with ballet, i won't be the hunchback of bukit batok today.

if i'd pursued my 'artistic' leanings, what would i be doing today?

i had a really bizarre dream last night. i dreamt i was about to collide with the Sydney Opera House and it suddenly dived under the water, like a submarine. this wasn't all. before that, i was cramming into a capsule lift the size of me with my head and legs bent at weird angles. i was descending. and there was a man. bingo? maybe. 

tick

i was to buy 'star' stickers. i promised my SIL i'd reward myself duly with one for each item i struck off from my to-do list. no stars available; i bought these instead, for the fun of it. my SIL likes Doraemon and i like Snoopy. Pooh reminds me of Teddy Toh and the little one. i think i never really indulged in cute stationery except one time when i'd scour stores with my cousin for printed papers of My Melody and other cute friends -- to make paperbags. i think i do enjoy doing things with my hands. i suspect we all do, in one way or another. i did wood and metal work during secondary school, when most girls were sewing and cooking. i'm still trying to find out more about myself. i know making jewelry with beads is out for me, lol.

what are your talents? 

岁月不饶人

  shouldn't be here. but here i am.

  what's your ONE dream? do you even know what you want? 

thanks for having me again. you know who you are. i'm very thankful for your friendship. thanks for accepting me as i am, yet doing what you have to -- for my sake.   

F

is for the flashes of lights i've been seeing in my right eye.
is for floaters that might have been floating in my right eye.

and they're signs and symptoms for retinal detachment.

F is for the word that comes out too late as my numbskull tries to understand it all.

what are you trying to tell me, Lord? i've been keeping off contact lens. i'm doing things everyone's doing, from rubbing my eyes when i'm tired, to staring at the computer because my job requires it. am i to be singled out again when all i want is the same things others want? are you going to take my sight from me now? 

i'm sorry, Lord, if this is all i can think of.

生日快乐

this post was scheduled to be posted on the day this blog turns one. i almost forgot about it, that's why.

it's been yet another year, Abba. thank you for watching over me, always and forever.

THANK YOU.  

same same but different

my colleague told me she heard this phrase when she was in thailand. i had no idea, lol. i haven't been back to that country for a long time already (my goodness, there's a movie titled the same. and it's Tinglish in thailand!). i feel so ignorant now. lol.

i got this dress from harajuku. it's not what i usually take fancy to. i guess it's very girly, that's why. and i always think babydoll and tank dresses are unflattering on me. i did like the colour. it was my friend who was first drawn to it. or more precisely the little hearts on the dress. it's quite expensive to me, at above 3000 yen. we each bought a dress from the shop. 

the phrase was being used by the team leaders today at the townhall session about the impending transformation at the workplace. some of the news did take me by surprise. just this morning, i was (finally) making the effort to pray for His guidance and leading in what lies ahead for me. as the news broke, it was as if He's dishing out the answers before me. 

if only it's so easy. even when the options are laid up raw before us, it seems harder to make that decision . it involves letting go of everything that we're so familiar with. are we always very willing to let it go, even as we're not at all content with the status quo? one of the senior management personnel hit the nail on the head. we could agree that staying put wasn't a better solution anyway, so why not move forward with the change?

argh. i'm frankly more stressed now. because this wasn't the answer i was hoping for? highly likely.

回头见！

by this time, i'd be mid-air on my way to having a long-awaited holiday break.

this is my suit. and yours?

i'll be hat-less and my winter wardrobe will be more towards the colour scheme on the right above. have you been to romania, btw? there's just so much to discover, this place given us. i'd like to have chosen a country i haven't been to - alone. but i was too chicken sh:t. the trip this time was not planned. i'm just so thankful i can get out. i dunno when i can get out again. but i know my Lord knows the desires of my heart better than i do; He knows me inside out, He knows what's best for me -- He's in charge. and i have to do my part in bucking up. daunting project, that. 

alrighty. catch you when i catch you!