more than enough

When I lose my way,
And I forget my name
Remind me who I am
In the mirror all I see
Is who I don't wanna be
Remind me who I am

In the loneliest places
When I can't remember what grace is

Tell me, once again
Who I am to You, who I am to You
Tell me, lest I forget
Who I am to You, that I belong to You
To You

When my heart is like a stone,
And I'm running far from home
Remind me who I am
When I can't receive Your love
Afraid I'll never be enough
Remind me who I am

If I'm Your beloved, can You help me believe it?

I'm the one You love, I'm the one You love
That will be enough, I'm the one You love

lyrics from:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QSIVjjY8Ou8&feature=youtu.be

this song tells my story. i was feeling exactly this way before He took away that something that's been hindering me from loving myself, from loving Him and loving people.  

ironically though, as soon as i got the breakthrough, an old friendship got terminated. i can't say i'm not affected at all, yet somehow i don't feel the torment which would torment me if it happened to me previously. it's not the first time i was given this treatment by the same friend. this time, i'm able to look at it with a new heart, with new eyes. i'm no longer resigned to the notion that i'm truly unlovable and i have to earn someone's favour to enjoy his or her fellowship. imagine the sh:t He goes through having to put up with our sh:t. but He stays put and continues being our loving Abba. we don't have to do one thing more or less to experience His generous grace. if anything, we just run away and avoid Him. and trust Him to woo us back home. 

i hope my friend gets her breakthrough soon. it's the best thing that can happen to anyone.

retro gasm

attended a colleague's wedding dinner and enjoyed myself thoroughly. it's really gotta do the company, i suppose? if i hadn't swapped tables, i wonder if things would be the same. how else can i explain it other than that it's really down to who's at the table? and that'd include myself. i hope the replacement gave the group better synergy or vice versa. ironically, he's much younger than me but he can click better with the older colleagues at the original table. i'm one of them older people but not as old yet.     

i should thank the colleague who's willing to let me swap. and my boss for freeing up another spot so that another colleague could swap tables (so that i felt better i wasn't the only one to swap table... lol). anyway, this whole week it's like the central theme's gotta do with retro songs. retro cos it's more related to an older person like moi. it's like i was in my element when the conversation's gotta do with songs. songs that i know, of course. 

erm. that's it, really.  

(wardrobe notes: who wore the pants better? not me :( the socks hanselfrombasel from CofC. they're kinda wide. i almost died walking in those shoes).

原封不动

i

not the most flattering pictures but here they are anyway. if i dared to head outside and be seen in this outfit, it means it's passable. lol. but i was merely going to church. the only fashion rule i applied for such occasions: don't be too sloppy. which basically means no slippers. even now, on dress-down fridays at work, i couldn't make myself wear 'expensive' slippers like birkenstocks. i'd feel so obviously sloppy. many colleagues do that, i don't always approve, but somehow it's just not so obvious on them? it's all in my head. 

wore the jumpsuit with the top down so the bottoms looked like paperback harem pants. if i had broader shoulders and longer legs, i would be richer today, from all the savings on alterations. almost wanted to wear these boots but i think i'd look really cartoon.  

CofC

 the top's reversible. i got it cos it's reminiscent of fashions past. is this outfit (below) sloppy? i can imagine why management would frown on dress-down fridays policies. i don't envy those who have meetings scheduled on fridays. thankfully, i get to wear casual on all fridays except the 1st friday of every month for the next 4 months.

all the talk seemed to have nothing to do with the post title. i'd been at quite a low point... i hadn't been documenting much about it, it's pointless i guess, cos i'd still be in the same place. not sure if it's not as bad as before, if that could be ascertained by looking back on the blog posts. it could just hit me suddenly. i almost never made it to church just now. the haze was rather bad. i didn't have the desire. i was openly defying my Lord. i deserved better. i didn't deserve His grace. i wanted more. i just wanted to stay put.

"Jesus embraces to all who come to Him... He took our shame, our guilt, our unrighteousness... everything was done so you would come...." 

- Vincent Lai


  

有点blue

(no) right to complain

there's no way back now. don't think i can appreciate the sleekness of studio-recorded music anymore. haha. i wish you're there to experience it for yourself. the artists were really impressive; you can tell they worked hard at their craft, even if they already got the gift from above.

AND.

they're so hot, oh my gosh.   

heh.

john legend didn't play my most favourite song. doesn't it just tear at your heart?

 i almost forgot my ticket. thankfully i realised before the bus came. i cabbed up there, and had to cab back part of the way cos the night owl bus doesn't stop very near my place. one of these days, if my body can still take the excitement, i'd watch a midnight show and take the night bus and walk the rest of the way. hah.

my only complaint about the whole experience: the air.    

how does it feel

so i can say i've finally attended a music festival. did i enjoy myself? i think i did. i didn't get up on my feet and dance, didn't get drunk, didn't eat, didn't catch the last act. didn't do much. but i did enjoy the experience. 

and whadyaknow my phone was flat. i almost didn't even get to see the legend, until the encore. the organisers said he'd requested for the screen blackouts. two of my companions theorised over the reason for that, haha. i decided to miss michael franti, which was the last act. i was surviving on 4 hours' sleep and i had no transport home. i dunno if i'll stay on through the other legend's slot tonight. gotta skip church if i did... 

a caucasian raved to us about franti, saying he's here for him. the tweets seemed to affirm that. i liked this catchy song by toots and the maytals. i imagine i might like franti's show. oh well.   

 

R&R

source

i took my love and i took it down

The story of Landslide... everybody seems to think that I wrote this song about them. Everybody in my family, all my friends, everybody... and my Dad, my Dad did have something to do with it, but he absolutely thinks that he was the whole complete reason it was ever written. I guess it was about September 1974, I was home at my Dad and Mom's house in Phoenix, and my father said, 'you know, I think that maybe... you really put a lot of time into this [her singing career], maybe you should give this six more months, and if you want to go back to school, we'll pay for it and uh, basically you can do whatever you want and we'll pay for it ~ I have wonderful parents ~ and I went, 'cool, I can do that.'

[Then] Lindsey and I went up to Aspen, and we went to somebody's incredible house, and they had a piano, and I had my guitar with me, and I went into their living room, looking out over the incredible, like, Aspen skyway, and I wrote Landslide...three months later, Mick Fleetwood called. On New Year's Eve, 1974, called and asked us to join Fleetwood Mac. So it was three months, I still had three more months to go to beat my six month goal that my dad gave me. So that's what Landslide is about.
~Stevie Nicks, VH1 Storytellers, 1998

extracted from here

let's play

in the mood for love

happy friendship day!

(a former cedarian said they'd celebrate that in place of valentine's. i had no recollection of that part at all. i only recall some students saying some girls bought their own flowers to show that they had notsosecret admirers. oh but don't take my word for it. i found out recently that there're lots of empty patches in my grey matter.)

spare a moment

i heard this went viral. oh?
touching story aside, i really love the music. i wonder who composed it. it's a royston tan production, that's all i could gather from youtube. 

quietly.softly.slowly.

冬雪

你本可来势如巨大风暴，充满飓风的威力

你本可来势如森林之火，火焰中充满天堂的力量

但你却如冬雪一般地到来

宁静，柔和，而缓慢

在夜里从天而降

临到这地

 

你本可如海潮般汹涌，占领我们的心房

你本可如洪水般轰鸣，卷走我们所惧的一切

但你却如冬雪一般地到来，是的，你就是这样

你宁静，柔和，而缓慢

在夜里从天而降

临到这地

哦不，你的声音不似荒野之火

不，你的声音也不似驰骋之风

反而宁静，微柔，而隐秘

是的，你来如冬雪

宁静，柔和，而缓慢

在夜里从天而降

临到这地

轻轻地降临，是的，轻轻临到这地

在夜里从天而降

临到这地

story

all i want

"God is love. Crazy, relentless, all-powerful love. Have you ever wondered if we’re missing it? It’s crazy, if you think about it. The God of the universe—the Creator of nitrogen and pine needles, galaxies and E-minor—loves us with a radical, unconditional, self-sacrificing love. And what is our typical response? We go to church, sing songs, and try not to cuss. Whether you’ve verbalized it yet or not...we all know somethings wrong. Does something deep inside your heart long to break free from the status quo? Are you hungry for an authentic faith that addresses the problems of our world with tangible, even radical, solutions? God is calling you to a passionate love relationship with Himself. Because the answer to religious complacency isn’t working harder at a list of do’s and don’ts—it’s falling in love with God. And once you encounter His love, as Francis describes it, you will never be the same. Because when you’re wildly in love with someone, it changes everything."

crazy love

eta: all i want for christmas is you

november rain

went to watch TONE. i quite enjoyed it. i didn't always enjoy a cappella, tbh. 

watching them reminded me of myself: of dreams unfulfilled. of passions lost.   

the dress was on sale and it's the only one left - in L size. i almost wanted to wear my rebecca taylor's beige gloves. i think they're too large. haha. iirc they're also the last pair available then, when i was in tokyo. i really wish i could do more with my hair. i suspect the problem's me. i tried to copy this but Failed.

心跳加速

if you've got nothing going on during the long weekend, hop on over to the national library's drama centre black box for some song and dance with homegrown a cappella group, TONE.  

 

heart | Beat by TONE

they're performing on thurs, fri and sat evenings. get your tickets at www.gatecrash.com.sg now.

sample how they sound --> hide & seek, imogen heap 

killing me softly

i know that the bridges that i’ve burned
along the way
have left me with these walls and these scars
that won’t go away

- can't take my eyes off you by lady antebellum


Lady Antebellum - Need You Now

close the gap

huh?


any fans of this movie? i didn't watch it till a few years back, thanks to him. i remember it left me with some unasnwered questions (this happened very often; i think i have a problem understanding things). 

we're doing media texts this school term. we were going through genres and i was speaking up quite a bit. it's nothing challenging, really, just responses to questions like "what are the characteristics of this movie?", etc. when the tutor asked for examples of some sci-fi movies, i kept coming up with the classics. i mentioned Space Odyssey (even though i've yet to watch it) and Blade Runner came up. he clarified if it's "2001" and i nodded. he said it's "hard to watch". i believe he's referring to the part where the guy was going through space. there's a term for this journey. what's it called?


she's so beautiful. remember her in Dune?


anyways, at one point, he cited the film Somewhere In Time. again, i could relate. i was visibly excited someone in the room knew of it. there's a period in my teenaged life i went to bed listening to the sountrack every damn night.

the other students must think no wonder lah she's an aunty already. she's probably older than the tutor. lol.  i think i was simply quicker to respond that evening. i imagine the scene would be the same if it's a class about 80s or 90s pop music. lol.

i have to rewatch Blade Runner. or maybe i won't. i had no idea about the original ending and the director's final cut. worst, i didn't know Ford's a replicant. aiyo. if there's one observation i could make and which won't be incorrect, it's that they couldn't make music without the sax, during that time. lol. i gotta admit i found it tacky now and it's like synonymous with... porn?! there's a time i enjoyed Kenny G. aiyo!!! lol.

speaking of Kenny G, i was in the dentist's chair today. i never had my upper wisdom teeth removed. i found out only recently why people would usually have all upper and lower ones removed. my upper ones were growing downwards to close the space left vacant since the removal of the bottom ones. there was some pain and my throat's suddenly quite sore. i was given a course of anti-biotics to prevent infection anyway.

turn back the clock

i want ALL the clothes on the model. ALL OF THEM. 

 i want a time machine.

credits

shake your love

who's still using a scrunchie today? heard on radio Yaz's phone interview with Debbie Gibson. again, shoulder pads were mentioned. and hair, iirc. (she's so boring! :P) if the 80s were about cockroach hair and shoulder pads, then what about the 90s? i suspect it's still the hair and something to do with shoulders. 

what's your favourite song by Gibson, if you must choose? i still do like Lost in Your Eyes. her voice is quite 'covered' whereas you can hear more 'power' from Tiffany. altho sometimes i don't sense any emotion in the latter's voice. excuse my layman's lingo.

FP can also denote Fashion Police. hur hur. my gums and throat hurt.