esoteric

She had grown more cautious since her experience with the Magus. Sometimes she would bemoan the fact that she only managed to take part in things that she could already understand. She sensed that she was missing out on something very important in life, and that if she carried on as she was, she would simply continue to repeat the same experiences over and over. And yet she didn't have the courage to change. She needed to be constantly struggling to discover her path; now that she had experienced the Dark Night, she knew that she didn't want to find her way through it. And although she was sometimes dissatisfied with herself, she felt unable to go beyond her own limitations.

Brida
by Paulo Coelho